Christmas Day

It's Christmas Day.
Do you feel happy? Excited?
No. You feel bad don't you? The presents under the tree? For everyone else.
Are any your's you ask?
Only the feeling of hopelessness and fear that have taken to your heart.
They don't care what you get and no matter what is is, whether you want it or no, you cannot muster the feeling that should be associated with it.
When you grow older, if you grow older, what will you do? Will you cry and plead of happiness?
I certainly hope not.
You write what you feel right?
What do you truly feel?
Before it was fear, sadness, and pure rage.
What is it now? Acceptance? Determination? Or is it the same?
You ton't truly deserve to live and do you know why/
Because you are too different. Most poeple would have killed themselves by now.
Why have you lived? Why do you fight?
Is it for her? Or is it for you future?
Maybe it's to repent for you past sins and present thoughts.
you are changing. Something you are not too ignorant of.
Now my final question.
Will you perish for nothing? Or with a cause?
-~-